Billie Eilish has made a firm decision to keep her private life under wraps from now on.
The 22-year-old chart-topper, known for hits like Bad Guy and Birds of a Feather, has had a brief romance with Neighbourhood frontman Jesse Rutherford and has come out as bisexual. However, she’s now yearning for the days when her personal escapades weren’t public knowledge.
Speaking to Vogue, Billie expressed her regret over sharing too much: “I wish no one knew anything about my sexuality or anything about my dating life. Ever, ever, ever. And I hope that they never will again.” She firmly stated: “And I’m never talking about my sexuality ever again. And I’m never talking about who I’m dating ever again.”
Previously, the Ocean Eyes singer opened up to Variety about the pressures of being a young female celebrity, describing it as an ongoing battle. “Being a woman is just such a war, forever. Especially being a young woman in the public eye. It’s really unfair. It turns out that I’m young, and I have a whole life of s*** I can do.”
She said she ‘wishes no one knew about her sexuality or dating life’ (
Getty Images)
Billie reflected on how fame forced her to grow up too quickly, making her feel like she had to live as if she were much older. She’s since realised she doesn’t need to sacrifice her youth, saying, “Maybe because my life became so adult very young, I forgot that I was still that young. I settled in a lot of ways: I lived my life as if I were in my 70s. I realized recently that I don’t need to do that.”
In her journey of self-acceptance, Billie has also been grappling with her sense of attractiveness and her identity, admitting she’s “never really felt” like a girl. She confessed: “I’ve never felt like a woman, to be honest with you. I’ve never felt desirable. I’ve never felt feminine. I have to convince myself that I’m, like, a pretty girl. I identify as ‘she/her’ and things like that, but I’ve never really felt like a girl.”
Meanwhile, in a recent interview with Zane Lowe, the Ocean Eyes hitmaker admitted that she ‘hated making music’ at one point. She said: “It was Finneas who “keeps the ship moving” in their work. She revealed: “I used to be like, ‘[I] hate making music, [I] don’t want to make it, [I] don’t like making it.’ It’s frustrating. It’s irritating. I love having made it. I love performing it. I love when it’s good, but I really have always struggled with the process.”
Eventually, Finneas told her, “I don’t like doing this anymore. I don’t want to write music right now,” which prompted Billie to take a new approach to her work. In fact, she found herself “finally enjoying the process” for the first time.